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Working Moms
By karen | January 24, 2007
Elizabeth Vargas has been in the news the past couple of days. Apparently there was uproar when she stepped down as co-anchor of ABC news when she gave birth to her second child. She has gone on the record to say that she was not pushed out but that it was a personal choice that she made.
It’s the age-old debate that has tormented women for all of my life.
Do we stay home with our children or do we go out into the workforce? Most of the tormenting is coming from the polarized sides. Neither side is right. Neither side is wrong. They are different. That’s all.
It’s probably pretty obvious if you read this blog that I am a Mom. I work from home and I spend my days working at my husbands and my business and writing and cleaning up catastrophes caused by children. This was a conscious decision on my part. It works for me. I am happy.
When my son was small I was a working, single mom. I had no other legitimate choice at that time. Nobody was helping me pay any bills. I never received any child support from my ex-husband. It wasn’t easy. But my son turned out to be a responsible and able adult. He’s 23 now. I don’t think I was any less of a mother to him because I worked outside the home and he spent time in daycare than I am to my young children now when I don’t work outside the home.
So I’ve been on both sides. Contrary to opinions from each side there are benefits for moms and children either way, working and staying home. Some women are better moms when they can go out into the world and work and express their creativity in that manner. Some moms who stay home with their children resent the fact that they are stuck only talking with kids all day and they wish they were working outside the home.
The key is to really, really know what is best for you as an individual and as a mom. Are you going to regret the decision you make? Look inside yourself. What is the right answer for you? Kids are resilient, they really truly will do fine no matter what your decision is. But they will be affected if you are not the best mom you can be because you are tormented because of your decision. Be happy and accepting of whatever you decide. If you have guilt, remorse or regret you are needlessly torturing yourself. And if you are like I was and you really don’t have a legitimate choice, then make the best of it. It’s really all you can do.
And last but not least, allow others to live happily with the decisions they make also. It’s not your place to pass judgment. Maybe then we can give up the debate and allow women to really do what is right for themselves in their own lives.
This article is included in the Carnival of Family Life located this week of February 12 at Colloquium
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Topics: Personal Development |
February 10th, 2007 at 4:21 am
I agree, what works for one does not always work for another. It’s a personal decision and should be respected by others. Thank you for sharing this with the Carnival of Family Life.
February 11th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
What a great post. It is true: There is pressure on each side. I experienced it and so did my friends. I could not stand to stay home and not be involved in other pursuits. I tried it and I failed. I was a better mother with a balance of both worlds . . . it worked out well for me to be a student when the kids were very young. More flexible than a job, but a creative outlet.
Thanks for participating in the Carnival of Family Life which will be posted later today. Hope you’ll stop by and read the other wonderful submissions. There are many!
February 12th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Ditoo! Wonderful post, I couldn’t have said it better myself. If only women could stop juding each other over issues such as type of birth, breast feeding… on and on, the world would be a better place. everyone has a reason, and it isn’t right to make light of such personal issues.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
I forgot to say- Here from the CFL.:O)
February 13th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Great post. There is not a one size fits all answer to this question. Each woman has to make the choice that is right for her and her family.
Here via the carnival of family life.
February 13th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Thanks for stopping by!
July 22nd, 2007 at 7:40 pm
I agree with you that what is each mother is what they feel is right.