Self-Talk

What do you say when you talk to yourself?

There is an old saying that “you’re not crazy when you talk to yourself, it’s when you start answering yourself that you become crazy”.

And what’s really crazy is that lie! Everybody talks to themselves, every minute of every day. Nobody in the world communicates with you more than you do.

So think about it. What do you say?

Take notice and pay attention to the things you say to yourself every day.
Many times you may catch yourself saying (not out loud but only in your head of course) something about yourself or your life that you would never, never in a million years say to another person.

I’m talking about the limiting, self-deprecating, disparaging thoughts and silent comments that many of us have, the thoughts of doubt about our abilities and ourselves, the feelings of disgust when we look in the mirror and there is a new wrinkle or too many bulges in our slinky little black dress.

We need to monitor our conversations and the thoughts we have about ourselves. Most of us would never tell someone we love that they are “less than” anything because we know that they are not. Everyone has slip-ups and every one makes mistakes and we understand that with other people but often we hold ourselves up to some impossible standard and we don’t measure up to our own expectations. The fact that they are completely unreasonable and often unattainable is completely irrelevant because we failed to measure up. It’s a Catch 22.

Now I know that some of us were taught this early on in life. Parents are not always the best at encouragement. Some of us were taught very well by masters of negative self-image. But now you are an adult. Anything that happened in the past is relegated to the “so what” pile.

So if you are guilty of self-abuse in the form of talking and thinking hypercritical thoughts about yourself become conscious of your habitual thinking and turn it around. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. Just because you failed in the past or you made some mistakes on the way does not mean it will repeat itself. A very wise man has said “The Past does not equal the Future” and the past does not equal the future but if you keep playing self-defeating noise in your head you will keep on self-defeating.

So I’m not talking arrogance or braggadocio. I’m talking about a healthy confidence and a sincere self-esteem. Focus on your strengths and your talents. Focus on the joyful parts of your life. Think about everything that you have done right in your life already and everything that you still can achieve. Become your own cheerleader. Believe in Yourself.

Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House, Inc. and an amazing author with wonderful messages for the world said, “When we really love ourselves, everything in our life works”. The first line of her New York Times Bestseller “You can Heal Your Life” says “What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us”. Her words are wise and wonderful and she is absolutely right. You can heal your life but just as a plant needs water and sunlight so too do we all need self-love and nurturing.

Become your own best friend.
Give yourself the self-love that you deserve.
Heal your Life.
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This article is included in the Personal Growth Carnival located at Bryan C. Fleming.com

This article is included in the March 15, 2007 edition of the Self Esteem Issues for Women Blog carnival located atFort Wayne African-American Independent Woman