Adversity Secrets

About a week ago Stephen Hopson from Adversity University tagged me for an interactive experiment “Secrets of Dealing with Adversity”. The challenge is to either write down 5-10 ways that you have handled adversity or tell a story of how you overcame an adversity from your past. While there have been what seems to be a multitude of memes, experiments, tag games and so forth that we are all invited to play, this one touched my heart. It seemed to fulfill a bigger purpose. This one felt important. Because as Stephen mentioned on his site…

Isn’t that the truth? We all have to go through some difficulties in our lives. Sometimes the contrast seems more than we can bear but when we come through we are stronger, wiser and better for the experience.

So I considered and I pondered. I went back in memory to some times of adversity. Didn’t want to stay there long! But I did come up with a few things that have helped me make it through the difficult times. All of these things were things that I deemed important. I hope my insights can contribute.

1. I debated and debated, argued and argued with myself as to whether or not I should include this one. However, the fact is that this has actually served me well, so well in fact that I put it first on the list. Society may try to tell us it’s not really okay and men especially are frowned upon for doing it. I can still hear the voices of my childhood saying “stop your boobing, big girls don’t cry!” But it hasn’t stopped me. So I’m being honest here but I am also acknowledging the great value that this has had for me as I am going through difficulties and challenges. So here goes….

I cry! And I cry! And I cry!

There. I said it.

Should I be embarrassed?

No, I am not in 4th grade anymore. I can admit it.

The fact is that for me crying is a huge, enormous release of emotions. After the crying is over I know that the solution is on its way to me. After the tears, I get back to thinking normally, constructively and logically.

I need to release the emotions before I can make my life better so I do.

During my debate with myself I actually did some research on crying. Apparently, it hasn’t been studied too much but science has found that crying releases chemicals that build up in our bodies from emotional stress. Emotional tears also contain more beta-endorphins than the kind of tears that just lubricate our eyes and beta-endorphins are some of our bodies’ natural pain relievers. It also has been found that people who cry enjoy better health all around than people who hold in their emotions. Tears reduce tensions, remove toxins, and increase the body’s ability to heal itself.

Check out this fascinating webpage at Miscellaneous Musings: Have a good cry!

And the next time adversity comes knocking at your door, take my advice, have a good cry and then you can get on to the solutions!

2. After the cry is over, I’m ready to conquer the problem. So the next thing on my list is “Accept what is”. Whatever is happening or has happened is current reality. Arguing with it, wishing it were different, complaining about it, giving it any mental energy about wanting it to be different is futile.

It’s a waste of your energy and your emotions. So long as you are mentally fighting against something it will hang on. I think it was Carl Jung who said “That which you resist, persists”. I think he is right. Don’t fight against or resist reality because it is a losing battle. What is, is. Accept it and move on.

3. Faith and Prayer-I was taught as a child that “God will never give you more than you can handle”. For some reason that sticks with me. I truly believe that we are never handed an adversity in our life that is more than we are equipped to handle. When Life hands us an adversity, a solution is also given. I believe that. It may be difficult to see and we may struggle to find it but the solution is there. When adversity strikes, I remember that maxim and I tell myself that I am strong enough to handle whatever shows up in my life. I just need to have the faith and find the solutions. That’s where prayer often comes in. So Pray, however and whatever that means to you. It helps!

4. Step Away. Our subconscious minds are amazing. Our Inner beings and our subconscious minds have the solutions and the answers for every adversity in our lives but if our conscious minds are chattering away often we can’t hear, feel or intuit what our subconscious mind and Inner Beings are trying to tell us. So it is often a good idea to step away, go do something else, take your mind off from it somehow and allow the answers to come to you. Edison and Einstein were both big proponents of stepping away from the problem and allowing the solution to come. I’m sure that others also have learned and taught this important wisdom.

So step away, do something else, call a friend, go exercise, read a good book, take a catnap, take a long nap, whatever, just step away from the problem for awhile. Allow the answers to come to you.

Works for me, every time!

5. Gratitude- When things are going wrong and trouble and adversity are happening all around you, that is one of the best times to start counting your blessings! I mean that sincerely! You always have something good, great and wonderful in your life, when things are going wrong that is the time to really start focusing in on the good, great and wonderful things. So start a gratitude page, do some rampages, call a friend or a loved one and remind yourself and them how much they mean to you. In times of adversity, Gratitude will work wonders! Not only that you will start creating solutions if only because you are now focused upon good and happy things and that is what you will begin seeing all around.

Well, there you have it. Of course this list is not all inclusive, it is just a list of a few things that I came up with this past week as I pondered and considered.

I hope I was able to contribute some things of value to this experiment. Like I said before, I think this experiment has value and a good purpose. It was also wonderfully beneficial for me to think about these things.

Thank you for the invitation.