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Exactly What We Wanted
By karen | July 31, 2007It was time for new swimsuits at our house. Halfway through the summer and the girls had just about outgrown the suits we got last year at this time. We always shop for swimsuits near the end of July, first part of August because that is when the sales start. My favorite time to go shopping is when everything is on sale!
So my 7 year old daughter informed me that she was going to get a “kini” (in case it’s not clear what she wanted just think about it with a b in front-bikini)! Well, I didn’t exactly want her to get a “kini” and her Dad didn’t exactly want her to get a “kini”. So we tried to talk her out of it.
“Honey, you’re sure you don’t want a one-piece?”
“No, I want a “kini”.
“What about a Tankini, it’s still 2 pieces?”
“No, I don’t want a tankini, I want a “kini”.
So I’m considering how I can dissuade her from this. She loves to swim so I said
“Honey, it is a lot harder to swim in a bikini”.
And then my wise and beautiful daughter said
“Mom, it doesn’t matter what you think, if I believe I can swim in a kini I can. It only matters if I believe I can do it!”
And I thought “Wow, she’s right! (and wise and smart and beautiful and apparently she also listens to her mommy!)”.
I considered this. I want all of my daughters to grow up to be empowered women. Women who are strong and able to create the life that they want. If they are going to become strong, empowered and confident women they need to know that their own thoughts are the only thing that can really hold them back. They can be, do and have anything they want if they believe in themselves.
So I thought about it and I decided that I liked her attitude. She is learning the good lessons of life. And then I considered “what is more important to me, a self-confident and empowered daughter or a one piece swimming suit?”
Well when you take all of that into consideration, it’s no contest. I want a self-confident and empowered daughter.
So I decided I would stop fighting it. I would go with the flow. No more discussion. We’ll see what happens.
Well we went shopping in downtown D. And while I was perusing the sales racks, my daughter comes to me with a beautiful swimsuit. It was tie-dyed turquoise with a pink heart. It was bright and colorful and it really was gorgeous. The sales price was just about perfect! Well she loved it. She absolutely had to have it. She almost begged for it.
So I bought her the beautiful turquoise and pink tie-dyed swimsuit. She was ecstatic. She said it was “exactly what she wanted”. And like I said the sales price was almost perfect. I was happy too.
So are you ready for the best part?
The beautiful turquoise and pink tie-dyed swimsuit is a one-piece tank!
We both got exactly what we wanted!
And I reconfirmed a valuable parenting lesson about not “fighting against” or “resisting” my children but allowing them to be themselves, even when I don’t necessarily agree.
This post is part of the July 31 edition of Pass the Torch Tuesday
July 31st, 2007 at 2:41 pm
What a very smart girl. Sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job in raising her!
July 31st, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Great post, Karen, and you are so right. We need to choose our battles wisely, and encourage our kids when they’re confident. Funny how things tend to work out in the end — often I think kids just need to know you trust their decision.
Thanks for joining us for PTT! Hope to see you again soon!
July 31st, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Thats awesome. What a great post, and a smart daughter you have. You rally handled that well.
July 31st, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Thank you Kailani!
I may have a small bias but I think she is very smart!
July 31st, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Hey PTT, Thank you! I agree, especially with our children we need to choose our battles wisely!
July 31st, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Thank you Carey!
I appreciate you stopping by!
July 31st, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Ha…great story, Karen. So fun how things work themselves out. And so fun practicing for teens, yes?
July 31st, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Thanks Pamm! It is pretty amazing how the Universe can give us both exactly what we want when we don’t fight against each other. (wow, that sounds like a new post! my brain is percolating!)
Thanks for stopping by!
August 1st, 2007 at 11:28 pm
Exactly What We Wanted
The story of finding the appropriate swimsuit for the daughter….
August 2nd, 2007 at 3:14 am
You wretched, self-deluded, pampered ninny. You will achieve nothing but raise yet another spoilt, whingeing brat who believes they are the center of the universe.
Next time you need to buy clothes for your 7 year old child, take them to the store and pick up a blue, useless and unnecessary p.o.s. and a red one. Then ask them to pick one.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:46 am
She is the Center of the Universe she lives in, just as You are the center of the Universe you live in!!
We all create our own lives.
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:35 am
Good job mom. I’ve had to move from giving my daughter the answers she already knows to helping her find them for herself. With modesty issues that has been the most helpful, that and helping her understand that the point of modesty is about using her body to get attention….it’s not a done deal though we are only beginning.
Hugs,
Holly
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:43 am
Thanks Holly! Yes, I really think we empower our children when we allow them to find the answers themselves!
Thanks for stopping by!
August 3rd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Looks like Stalin could do with a bit of TLC in his/her life! So much anger - where does it come from? Good answer Karen.
August 3rd, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Thanks Leisa!
Yes, perhaps they were having a bad day!
August 10th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
[...] Exactly What We Wanted [...]
September 17th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
[...] Karen, from Live the Power, wrote about the positive way she worked through an important decision with her seven-year-old daughter. [...]