Co-Creating with a Significant Other

When we find that “significant other” who makes our heart sing and we decide to come together for the purpose of co-creating a magnificent life, oftentimes we tend to believe that everything that we are interested in and everything that we like our spouses like to. My husband used to think that since he loved his Rubio’s Mexican food smothered then of course, I did too. He was wrong. No smothered burritos at Rubio’s for me! I just didn’t like it (the smothering, that is). But of course, I still enjoyed going there with him, it is just that our preferences were different.

And that is okay. More than okay actually.

Someone asked me a question awhile back about how to get their spouse interested in Personal Development. This person had embarked on what he felt was a wonderful and life enhancing journey and as we all would, he wanted his spouse to join him. Can’t blame him for that and of course, I can see how he would believe that a personal development path that they could share together could be a wonderful thing.

It took me a long time to answer his question. I pondered. I considered. I thought about it. But my answer remained the same. I believe that there is only one way that I can answer his question.

If your spouse is not interested in joining you on your personal development path, then you need to respect their choice and their decision and allow them to be who they are. If they are not interested, they are not interested. Accept it.

Any amount of coaxing, cajoling, teasing, tempting, bargaining, whatever, just becomes too close to trying to control. And no one is happy in a too controlling relationship. And especially if you are on a path to improve your own life, you learn that attempting to control another person is futile, impossible and definitely an exercise in frustration! Let it go.

The best thing you can do is set a great example. Show them how you are changing your life. Let them see the improvements in your life. If they ask you about your path, then answer truthfully and respectfully and allow them to do with it what they may. Don’t expect or wish things were different. Accept the way things are.

You fell in Love with a human being and human beings develop their own preferences.

A couple is always two people and never two halves of one.

You don’t need your spouse to join you and while it might be nice, it is not your decision to make. It is your spouses decision.

So carry on with your path, Walk your Talk. Become the person that you want to be. Become the best you!

There will always be things that you share with your spouse as you are building a life together.

Appreciate those things.

Appreciation is a deep form of love. Appreciate your spouse for who they are.

Because you cannot create in another’s Universe, you can only create in your own.