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For Better or Worse
By karen | August 27, 2007
is not the best way of getting clean.”
Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
English writer, author of “Brave New World”
*******
Yet, we all tend to do it. We have an argument with a loved one, someone says something unkind, we make a mistake and feel embarrassment, a bad day at work, a disagreement with the boss and rather than just putting it out of our minds and letting it go we tend to ruminate, instant replay it over and over in our minds, think about how we could have handled it differently, join online chat groups to “discuss our problems”, complain and argue for our limitations, in short we tend to “roll around in the muck” rather than letting it go and renewing our minds.
I was reminded of this recently when I heard someone “argue” about their shortcomings. This person informed me that I didn’t know what she was going through and that it was much “worse” than I could even imagine. And unfortunately for her, she was just attracting more and more of the “situation” that she was arguing for. She was brooding and complaining and it was very clear to me as an outsider, that by all of this “rolling around in the muck” she was creating more of the very thing she did not want, more “muck“.
And we all do it at times. It seems to be a very human trait.
We can break that kind of bad habit. However, it will take some thinking and consideration on our part.
When you are feeling bad, I mean really bad, you can’t just jump right on back up to Joy. The vibrations are too far apart. So how do you reach for the better feeling?
Well, you are responsible for your own life and you can make a choice that will serve you more than almost any other choice in life. You can make the choice that the most important thing for you is to feel good. That is your most important job if you want to deliberately create your life and use the Law of Attraction in your favor. Feeling good has to trump everything.
It needs to be more important to “feel good” than to be “right”.
It needs to be more important to “feel good” than to believe someone else’s harsh words.
It needs to be more important to “feel good” than to focus on and think about the bad days, the mistakes and the embarrassments that you feel.
It needs to be more important to “feel good” than to be part of the exclusive and prestigious club.
It needs to be more important to “feel good” than to change the world.
Absolutely, the most important thing needs to be to “feel good“.
So you have a vitally important choice to make.
At any and every given moment you can choose what to think and how to respond. You are not a victim of knee-jerk responses or the whims of other people.
So ask yourself “does this thought make me feel better or does this thought make me feel worse”?
And that is the only judgment you make, worse or better, period, nothing else matters, only that you choose the thought that feels better. So while thoughts such as anger and revenge do not seem to be productive thoughts they often feel better than thoughts of powerlessness and depression. So make no judgments except “does this make me feel better or worse?”.
You start doing that and your deliberate creation efforts will skyrocket. You will feel good more often and the Law of Attraction will work for you and in your favor.
And that will feel good!
Ephesians 4:23
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Topics: Living the Power, The Law of Attraction, Deliberate Creation |
August 27th, 2007 at 11:35 am
People like to wallow around in misery, because the hard-done-by feelings are easier to cope with than actually taking control of ones life.
August 27th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Anja,
You are so right! But if we want to create our lives we need to make the choices.
August 27th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Awesome way of pinting out the only thing that REALLY matters Karen. Feeling good. I loved it!
August 27th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Yep, if you want the Law of Attraction to work for your benefit, feeling good is the most important thing!
Thanks Alan, for stopping by!
August 27th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
What about reflecting on things we have done that we regret and can grow from? Is there any place for remorse? If so how do you balance that?
August 27th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
The point is that we get what we focus on. So in that case I would say—do your learning, do your growing and move on!
I don’t think “remorse” is a productive emotion to focus upon.
Thanks, I appreciate your comment.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I’ll agree with you that focusing on remorse to the point of indulging isn’t helpful. It can morph into self judgments and wallowing you called it. However it seems that when we realize that we have been unkind to our self, or another that remorse is a natural feeling. It is part of the expansion of consciousness towards a more compassionate and accepting viewpoint.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I really have to hand it to you Karen! What an excellent tool, and so simple. Being an avid believer in the Law of Attraction I have often been caught up in this fight of I know I feel badly at the moment, and I know the consequences, but I feel stuck at the moment.
What you say makes since next time I’ll try to just take a step up instead of a leap.
August 27th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Gary, I agree it is a natural feeling but one we should learn from and move on. It’s not the feeling that causes us the problems but the “wallowing” in the feeling. That slows up our deliberate creating.
August 27th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Priscilla,
Really the only thing you can do is a step in the right direction, you don’t really have access to a leap. You try to leap and you fall rather than land and you’re no better off!
One step at a time and on up the emotioanal scale to better and better feelings.
thanks for stopping by!
August 27th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
True. We have a free choice to select our thoughts.
August 27th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
From someone who has suffered from depression and been “in the muck” for a very long time (post natal depression) I know that it is not that easy - like saying to someone with diabetes - you have a choice. No, I’m afraid you don’t always have a choice. Sometimes a “disease” like depression just hits you out of the blue - what you found easy before (being cheerful and positive!) is not an option anymore, just like if you had a car accident, got paralysed from the waist down and lost the use of your legs. Just like a baby born with down’s syndrome does not have a choice. People with neurological disorders have to take medication to think positively -all this positive -thinking is great for those for whom it is natural- for people like me, however, it requires intense effort and daily vigilance ( like a person with a weight problem or an alcoholic). In my case it is a chemical imbalance for which I have to take drugs. No amount of positive thinking can cure that - I tried that with disasterous results.
August 27th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Actually I still think you have a choice to consider “which thought feels better”?
I never said it was easy and I have also gone through periods of depression, one of the worst being after my last baby. I still find myself in the “muck” at times.
I still believe you have a choice on what to focus on. Drugs offer some relief. That is also a choice. Reach for relief however you find it.
August 27th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Susan,
We can choose our own thoughts!
thanks for stopping by!
August 27th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
We often stop to ask ourselves, or politely point out to one another, if we are coming from love or fear. It can be hard to remember in a heated discussion, but typically if the discussion is heated, one or both are not coming from love.
We spend so much time in our lives trying to solve little peripheral problems that we never get to the real issue. Once you identify that you are coming from fear, or a place that feels bad, it’s much easier to understand the real issue that’s bothering you. Only then can you take steps toward feeling better.
August 27th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Dan and Jennifer,
At the very core of it all that is the answer. Are you coming from Love or Fear? I’ve written about just that before. It’s wonderful to have kindred spirits as readers!
Thanks for stopping by and Thank you for your comments!
August 27th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Wonderful article. We can change our world by changing how we react to it. I have several chronic illness, but I try not to wallow in it. I do have my down times, but I don’t stay there. I like my world when I’m happy.
August 27th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Genie,
I so admire that attitude!!! That is what I’m talking about!!! Exactly!
Our world is always sweeter when we are happy, regardless of the circumstances!
August 28th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Great Article! I had to learn how to live by this rule “the most important thing today - is that I feel good” - when my lover of 18 years went to bed and never got up again!
My life was totally changed! Fortunately — and I am sure no coincidence - I had been introducted to Abraham-Hicks just a few weeks before Gale transitioned!
Every morning - when I awoken - I said it out load “the most important thing today - is that I feel good!” — I had to say that so many times in a day — as my thoughts would dip and my heart would hurt…
It is 4 1/2 years later — that saying, and Abraham, saved my life! I have a great life today - and still every morning I say it — “the most important thing today - is that I feel good!”
Create a Wonder-Filled Day!
August 28th, 2007 at 7:04 am
Ellie,
Wow, your comments brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart!
Thank you for sharing it here!
August 28th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
[…] I was reminded of this issue in an article by Karen on her excellent site Live the Power. She was writing about a person who had been complaining bitterly about her situation. Nobody could understand how terrible life was for her and nobody could ever imagine how bad it was. And most of this horrible situation was definitely somebody else’s fault this person was whining. […]