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3 Myths that Prevent Great Relationships
By karen | October 30, 2007
I have a really great marriage, a really great relationship. I’ve mentioned this here a few times and I’ve had more than a few requests to write a post about “how to manifest a Soul Mate”.
So what do I know? I’m not sure I know anything but as I think back on the days when I met my husband, I realize that the Law of Attraction worked in my favor and I did indeed “manifest a soul mate”. So I thought I would just write about how it happened for me but as I considered writing I also decided I wanted to address some of the pervasive myths that I believe keep people from manifesting a great relationship. As I started writing I realized that if I addressed both of these things in one post , the post would be just too long, too long to read, too long for a blog. So today I will address some of the myths that keep people from manifesting a great relationship and tomorrow I will tell my story and how it happened for me. As I write I will remember the magic of it all and feel the gratitude and count my blessings as I do everyday that I am so lucky to have this man in my life.
But today I will address some of those pervasive myths. The problem with myths is not that they exist but rather that you believe them. You create your life and you choose what to believe and what works for you. When you believe the myths that is what you create. .
So the first myth is “Relationships are hard work!”.
This is not my experience at all. It’s not hard work to be in a good relationship. It’s easy. It’s just part of the flow of life and it takes you. No struggle, no pain, no work involved if you get with the right person. The “work” of relationships come when you are not compatible and not respectful and loving with each other. When you have great love and mutual respect it’s not work. Has it ever been “hard work” to have a best friend? Of course, a marriage has those two extra variables (that would be money and sex) that you probably never had with a best friend so it really helps to have a shared value system and compatibility along with the best friendship.
The next myth is “All men/women are _______” (fill in the blank).
All human beings are unique and special in their own ways and generalizations only serve to limit your chances of finding great love. There are no absolutes in humanity, we are all different and we are all the same in our own ways. If you want to find a great relationship give up the generalizations and get to know individuals. You can find magic and wonder in anybody if you give them a chance (but it takes more than an “anybody” to be a soul mate).
And the final myth that I will address is “ You complete me”.
Yes, the person who said “A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle” was closer to the truth than “Jerry Maguire”. Sure, a fish doesn’t “need” a bicycle but does the fish “want” a bicycle, will a bicycle enhance the fishes life? These are the questions we want to answer…..
You don’t need another person to “complete” you. You are a complete person by yourself. You can find happiness and fulfillment by yourself. You do not need a man or a woman to have a full and wonderful life. Stop looking for that. A great relationship does not “complete” your life, it “enhances” your life. It makes your life fuller and richer but when you start thinking you “need” another person or a relationship, that is when you get off track and settle for less than what you could have or even repel someone who you could be happy with just because you are so needy. Neediness in the other person is probably the biggest cause of commitment phobia. When you both agree that your lives are enhanced with the relationship, that your lives are better, happier and more joyful together, the commitment is easy.
Okay, I addressed some of the common myths, tomorrow I’ll tell what I know from experience. Don’t know if it will be of value but I do know it worked for me. I am crazy in love with my husband still and we’re going on 16 years together.
Now I’m off to watch the Jazz, the NBA season starts today you know.
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Topics: Personal Development, Deliberate Creation, Real Life |
November 5th, 2007 at 6:38 am
I can sympathise when you say that relationships are not hard work. However, I feel there is a tendency for some people to just sit back and let things happen. They justify this with the belief that some things are simply ‘not meant to be’. Where I think the work comes into a relationship is when they couple or one of the them is facing a crisis (such as a personal crisis or, quite often, a financial one) It is then that the other partner seeks to work with the person to help them through the crisis.
Best wishes
Doug
www.dougwoods.com
November 5th, 2007 at 9:59 am
What happens is that the crisis comes along and at that time you either decide to be a team or you decide you have to go it alone. In that decision lies the fate of your relationship.