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3 Ways to Feel Gratitude
By karen | November 7, 2007
Apparently Gratitude does not come easy for everybody. A former neighbor of mine told me once that she just couldn’t do it because it was too hard. At the time I thought that maybe the problem was her talk-radio addiction. I mean it’s not like they were talking about happy things! She had a habit of looking on the dark side of things but in her eyes she was justified. She called herself a “Realist” and she called me a fool because I was an “Optimist”. But it didn’t matter to me, I was happy with my life and I could see that she didn’t feel the same about her life.
I suppose not everybody is an Optimist and it is likely that not everyone wants to be an Optimist. I think Optimism is a more fun way to live but to each their own. However, Gratitude feels good, it can change your life and it is worth the changes it may take.
If you are like my former neighbor and you do have some difficulty in feeling gratitude I have put together a short and concise list of things you can do to remedy the situation.
1. Contrast.–I know, it never worked when you were a kid and your Mom told you that you needed to eat your broccoli because there were starving children in Africa. I know I used to just think, “well, why don’t I just box up this broccoli and send it off to those starving children, because I ain’t gonna eat it!”
But now you can use the concept of contrast to your advantage. There are things that you enjoy that you can see that others are not enjoying yet. There are things in your life that you have now that you didn’t have before. Look at those things, appreciate those things. There is contrast all around you. Just use it for your advantage and feel appreciation for what you do have and what you have achieved instead of envy of other people for what you don’t yet have. You may live in a tiny house with bad carpet but at least it’s not a box underneath the viaduct!
2. Positive Aspects–There is something positive about everything. Sometimes it may be a minute thing that you can barely see but there is something positive about everything. So look for the positive aspects of the situation or thing and focus your appreciation on that. If you are having trouble finding the positive aspects then change your focus and find the positive aspects in something else. I know that there are some places here in the US where it gets so cold in the winter that they have to plug in their cars to keep them from freezing. For someone like me who dislikes cold weather, it is hard to imagine a positive aspect to the average daily temperature being below zero Fahrenheit. But the summers in those same places are absolutely spectacular and you can get some very warm clothes and Ugg boots to wear. And even if you do have to plug in your car at least it starts in the morning!
3. Rituals–You can develop some rituals for Gratitude that can really help you feel it. In “the Secret” you may recall the “Gratitude Rock”, well you don’t specifically have to use a rock but just get something, some kind of touchstone to remind you to think of something you are grateful for whenever you see it or touch it. Something like that can be a great anchor.
Another popular ritual is the Gratitude Journal. Every day you write down 5 or 10 things that you are grateful for. Doing that will really make you think and focus on the good things.
One of my favorite rituals is doing a “Rampage of Appreciation“. I wrote about it before. You just take the time to look for and appreciate the positive things in almost everything that you see, no matter how small, in fact sometimes the smaller it is the more fun it is because it really gets you into a happy and joyful place. Like right now, I am loving my warm lavender bathrobe (yes, I’m still in my jammies! It is just 6:30 am!) and my Flintstone coffee cup (that is the one that looks like it should belong to Wilma but it doesn’t, it belongs to me! I love it!)
If Gratitude is not easy for you to experience then try these three things. You will be feeling those joyful feelings of being grateful in no time!
This post is included in the
Carnival of Inspiration and Motivation-Third Edition
December 15, 2007.
The Carnival is located at
Positive and Successful Lifestyle Tips
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Topics: Personal Development, Gratitude and Appreciation, Real Life |
November 7th, 2007 at 10:49 am
I use my gratitude journal ‘most’ every night. I write “Today I’m grateful for:” and try to fill an entire page with things that I’m grateful for.
And after reading the secret again recently, I’ve added a new component - “My Perfect Life” - Instead of writing in my journal what actually happened in my day, I write exactly what would have happened had my day been perfect.
I’ve also started doing a new thing with my daughters. A few times per week we all sit together and each person says at least one thing they’re grateful for and then says something nice about everyone else in the group - including them!
November 7th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Great post, Karen. And if you find that gratitude doesn’t come easily, imagine that it’s a “gratitude muscle” you’re exercising. We all have this gratitude muscle, and the more you exercise it, the easier it gets!
Belle
November 7th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Great tips Jennifer! I love the idea of the daughters saying what they are grateful for!
That could be a fun “tuck them into bed” ritual too! I know 3 beautiful little girls who might get to try that tonight!
November 7th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Belle,
It really is true that the more you do it the easier it gets!
November 7th, 2007 at 11:04 am
I agree with Abundance. Kind of like smiling. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Love the post. I am definitely an optimist and my husband is totally the realist. He thinks I don’t have much of a handle on reality but I say, it’s all good. It drives him crazy.
November 7th, 2007 at 11:06 am
yes, It is all good! Optimism is the only way to go!!
November 7th, 2007 at 11:23 am
I especially like your idea about building up a ritual. It can help create a conditioned response so that when you engage in it you automatically increase the sense of gratitude.
Good stuff, Karen! I hope you submitted it to Nneka’s Season of Gratitude.
November 7th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Yes, I will submit it to Nneka’s Season of Gratitude. I am really grateful to her for having that as it was such a wonderful reminder for me to spend a season getting back to the wonderful basics of really feeling grateful!
November 7th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Great ideas Karen!
I’ll put them into practise today.
:)
November 7th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
That’s great Patricia! I know that it will work wonders for you!
November 8th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Hi Karen, GREAT post on gratitude. It is so true that it can help you so much. When I was in chronic pain and came upon “The Secret” gratitude was the first tool I used to make myself feel better. While ill it was very easy to focus on the negatives and I was also surrounding myself with news updates…. Almost a year later I am still pain and pain pill free and use gratitude every morning while I am in the shower and at night before bed. Also if something gets me upset during the day I immediately shift into gratitude mode to stop and appreciate what I DO HAVE! Still works wonders and I have no doubt in the healing power of gratitude! Thanks for the excellent post! Gratefully, Jenny
November 8th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Thanks Jenny!
I love to hear stories of how our thoughts can make our lives better and it sounds as if feeling and using gratitude gave you true healing power, wow! Love that!
Thanks for stopping by!
November 8th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
[…] So instead of thinking about my headache, here is a cool link with a neat post - 3 Ways to Feel Gratitude. Positive power! […]
November 8th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
I wrote on this very thing (Gratitude) this morning over at
AgentGenius
November 9th, 2007 at 3:46 am
[…] 3 Ways to Feel Gratitude - Gratitude does not come easy for everybody. […]
November 9th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Tis the Season…..
I’m loving this time of celebrating Gratitude!
November 11th, 2007 at 10:13 am
[…] 3 Ways to Feel Gratitude by Karen Lynch […]
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:38 am
[…] It has been said that the average American will gain 7 pounds during the holidays. We all know that there is plenty of food around during the holidays but all of that food will not feed your soul. And too often we get caught up in the frenzy and chaos and we forget or neglect the things that truly do feel good to us. So during this holiday season make an effort to remember yourself and honor your soul. Do the things that bring you joy, peace and happiness. Meditations, Gratitude rituals, Yoga and exercise, spending quiet time with loved ones, even reading books or doing enjoyable crafts can feed your soul. Don’t neglect yourself this holiday season. […]