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The Key and the Waterfall
By karen | June 17, 2008
In the bottom of my dresser drawer, I have a golden key. It is old-fashioned, ornate and a bit tarnished from the years that have passed. It is perhaps 8 inches long and I suppose that it is meant to hang on the wall or be used as a fancy paperweight or some such thing. It was given to me by my college sorority to commemorate the accomplishment of a 4.0 grade point average (wasn’t I just the smartie pants?). In the middle it is engraved with 4.0, on the right side, the name of my sorority and on the left side the date. The key was the symbol of my sorority and while I don’t recall much of the relevance behind it I do remember well the frat boys down the street singing about how the “Kappa’s have their Golden key, the key to their virginity”.
I look at it now and I think “Wow, that is pretty cool” and I feel good about it. But at the time I can remember feeling somewhat like a fraud. Like I didn’t really deserve it because I didn’t struggle hard enough to get it. Now that I am older and wiser I know that that is just crazy thinking and not even the way to live life and reach your dreams but back then my 18 year old self had yet to learn that lesson.
You see, that quarter (at that time my University was on a quarter system as opposed to a semester system) I took a full load of classes. All of my classes were ones that I loved and enjoyed and I knew I could ace all of them except for one. That other class. The one I hated, the one I struggled with, the one I couldn’t hardly force myself to study for, the one that in my mind was comparable to having a root canal, except that I would have preferred the root canal because it would have been less painful and over sooner!
So I had a full schedule of English, Writing, Psychology and…. Algebra. I may have had a gym class thrown in for good measure. I don’t recall.
So it was all great, fun and wonderful except for that damn algebra class. Oh, the agony! the pain! the gnashing of teeth! I really hated algebra. I even had a cute frat boy tutoring me and it still didn’t help. He gave me some “good advice that I just didn’t take“ (can you hear Alanis Morissette in the background singing? ‘isn‘t it ironic?’), he said that I should change my mantra from “I hate algebra” to “I love algebra”. (Nope, sorry. Thanks for asking, can’t do that, no drama there!)
Algebra was just not for me. I’m still not too fond of math unless it has a dollar sign in front and then it magically transforms into something I love. Funny how that perspective shift happens! I’ve always been good with figuring out percentages too but when you start putting in the x’s and the y’s and the variables and the statistics and all, I can feel my eyes glazing over. Not my idea of fun. No, not my cup of tea!
So I’m going along loving and enjoying all my classes except for the one and I knew I could get all A’s except for algebra so right before the deadline I dropped the class. Whew, what a relief! The clouds parted and the sun shown through and it felt great! For a minute. And then I reverted back into that all too human mode of “guilt”. Why didn’t I stick it out? Why did I hate algebra? What is the matter with me? Why can’t I just swim up that damn waterfall? (actually the waterfall quote is circa 2008, I never thought that in 1980 but it is so apropos).
It was totally unreasonable because even though I had buried what I really wanted to be when I grew up I still knew it had nothing to do with algebra. I wasn’t ever going to be happy in a job that required algebra. I wasn’t even interested let alone skilled enough to handle that. But it made no difference because in my mind at the time, if I was “really smart” I would have been able to ace algebra! Crazy thinking!
Nobody, absolutely nobody is good at everything! Not even Mr. or Ms. Valedictorian.
And here is another secret and this one is really good. No one ever became a success in happiness or money by doing something that they hated.
People find success by doing what they love.
We all have our own gifts and our own talents if we are to find true happiness and joy in this life we need to honor and nurture our own talents. That is where our purposes lie.
Other people can do the things that you’re not good at. You should do the things that you are good at, the things that you excel at, the things that you love. And others can do the things that they love.
And you know what the truly great thing about it all is? Everything will get done. And everyone will be happy and able to find their highest self by doing what calls to them, by doing whatever it is that they love.
There is something for everyone. Perhaps that is the true relevance for me of the ornate golden key in the bottom of my drawer, that the key to finding true happiness in life lies in honoring my own talents and doing what I love and going with the flow instead of trying to struggle up the waterfall.
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June 17th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I think in in this country we have such a strong emotional attachment to people that overcome all odds. We cheer on the underdog, we applaud those that overcome great weaknesses.
But doesn’t it make more sense to work with the strengths that you’ve been given. If you have a natural ability to do something 10x greater than anyone that didn’t have that natural ability, wouldn’t it be wise to use that to your advantage? I think the main “key” if you will is finding where your natural talent and love align. That’s when doors will start opening. =)
June 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Yes, we do seem to love the underdog….but as my favorite spiritual teachers are fond of saying…Nothing that you want is upstream.
I don’t believe we are meant to struggle
Yes, that is when the doors start opening.
Thanks for stopping by, Jonathan!
June 18th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Thanks for the walk down memory lane. I would have been the frat guy singing, not the one helping you with your math.
We’ve got to do what we love. It’s an implied covenant with our maker to express from our talents and gifts.
It takes too much time to bring up your weaknesses and it’s no fun at all. Hire someone to do what doesn’t bring you alive! I hope your drilling this one into you kids Karen. They need to believe before society sends them on the chase.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Tom,
I have been drilling it into my kids…I think the oldest one may finally have figured it out, he finally seems to be on the track that will lead to what he loves.
As for the little ones, I hope that it is ‘drilled’ into their heads so deep that the alternative never occurs to them! That would have been and is a good lesson to learn while you’re young!
Thank you for stopping by!